Today is one of those days.
I know that now I am stronger, I am safe and I am happy. I don't worry about what will happen if I come home late or don't want to clean the house. I don't worry that disagreements could turn into bruises. But still it is difficult to get away from the happy moments, the moments the Husband and I shared that were good, that were what marriage was suppose to be. It is difficult to forget how good he was when I was sad, when things in my life got too hard to handle. Sometimes, missing those things overshadow everything else.
I find it is important to focus on what I have now rather than what I could have had, or what I did have. It is times like this when I focus on the gifts the universe has given me. My Friends.
I have always been a believer the the universe; or whatever higher power attracts you will never give you anything you cannot handle and when the going gets tough it gives you the tools and the people that you need to get through.
I might have been handed a tough go for a bit but I have been blessed with the most amazing friends in the world. I small group of people who all through their own methodology keep me sane, help me find perspective, tell me the truth when it sucks, hold my hand and pick my sorry and sometimes inebriated ass off the floor.
Some of these people are new, some have been around since the only English they knew was Boy Band lyrics, others have slipped out of my life and fell right back in when we needed each other the most. Each of them are best at a different part of me and though our lives have grown with the times and we have all seen our moments in and out of the sun; something about these people keep me going.
So Thank-You to my Besties, who remind me no matter where I could have been I am here and without what I have been through I would not have them, I would not have ever known unconditional love, total acceptance and continuous support, not to mention the times we laugh until we almost pee.